i am exhausted.......mostly emotionally but somewhat physically..........i know things i can not talk about.......and maybe i am talking about things i don't know! maybe i just care too much for people.........want to help too much..........or frustrated because i can't do enough.........jeez .............. maybe right now i am too fried to know.............what i do know is i don't want to talk anymore for a while...........but i probably will because that is who i am................rachael............ i am so worried........and a little scared.............but you don't want to talk.............why is that?.......i love you and that is an unconditional love.......not based on what you do but who you are.........i just wish you could let me help you just a little..........before it gets to be too complicated..........josh...........i wish i had worked more with you when you were growing up to make to learn to talk about feelings........i think i was too wrapped up in my own to take the time to do that.........so it is not all your fault.............i have as much or more responsibility for things being the way they are..........tiffany..........you seem so distant...........why did we never really connect...........not like we could have or probably even should have..........was i too busy for you too..............how did i let things get this way...........i knew better...........but now the damage is done............i just hope you find a way to work it out..........i will do my best to help........i love you all so very much........